So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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