i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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