It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
She even gives head with a lisp.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
how drunk are you?
Several
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
