she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
she pinky promised me she was 18
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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