Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
