I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
