You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
