My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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