The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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