Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
