but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
they need to just BURY HIM!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
