whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We have started to decorate penises.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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