i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
