But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
