Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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