whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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