no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
operation have a gay friend backfired
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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