I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
