i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
