the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Randomize
