can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
