Quick, to the slutcave!
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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