i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
