you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
