think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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