you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I have post one night stand depression
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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