Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
