worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
we're making bets on your personal life
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
