That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sober January is a disaster.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
