i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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