This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
