Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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