thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
