Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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