It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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