I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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