awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Farmville is her only friend.
worst night to have a conscience
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
