I only kidnapped one of them. chill
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
