white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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