I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
