They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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