I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
