As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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