i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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