Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
