Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
