i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize