I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
