Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
well you can't waste a boner
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
