where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
