I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
