so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
