Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I cut my penus on the lid.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
