If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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