I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
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