last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
