It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
