Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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