He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
