It's like God shit irony all over that family
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I need moral support for this bender
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
