WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
