At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
