I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
