come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
