I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
