Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
